5 meses!!!

You are my little 5 month old baby cakes. The time is insanely passing by so fast and I have loved everymoment of it. I've had experiences that make me love you even more Kiara. Moments where you sleep with your little hand in my hand or you rock yourself to sleep with your thumb in your mouth, cry to the top of your lungs because you want me to pick you up, and the times where I find myself so frustrated because I can't put you to sleep. But when you look up at me smiling... then thats when I realize theres no point in being frustrated with my little Monster.

You are that gift of Heavenly Father that was given to me to take care of, guide, teach, and most of all to love you. I cannot express how much love I have for you. I wish you a happy 5 months and many more my little baby.

Love Mummy.

The light of my life!!

Im amazed at how fast time has gone by..especially when you have a baby. The responsibility is huge and your hours melt away. Kiara is already 4 and a half months old and the time spent with her has been amazing. She is already rolling over, eating little spoonfuls of gerber and babbling about the economy...not really but I'm sure she's not happy with it either.

I love waking up next to her and watching how happy she wakes up in the morning, cuz later on she has attitude with me when she doesn't get what she wants. But thats okay cuz I give her a piece of mine too. Its funny to say this but I argue with her too and sometimes talk to her like an adult. I think she likes it, cuz she just stares at me for the longest time. That or she think I'm crazy!!! You are my light, my everything and it scares me a little too much that your growing up way too fast. I love you to pieces my sweet little woman.

Day at the park with Mommy. Outfit: DKNY tee and vintage cardigan gifts from Grandma Benson and grandma Meraz

Jammy time twins

Love to roll over!!!!

Your going to catch a cold...

Can you say Daddy's girl.!!

MY TWO MOHAWK LOVES!!!

Me (bottom pic) when I was a baby..such an old skool pic!

she's definitely my mini me but was lucky enough to be born with daddys hair i was a pretty bald baby...but here's josh in the middle with the darkest hair and his spikey hair just like kiki.

Josh and Izzy's Mornings

CUTEST SMILE EVER!!!

I just cant get enough of THIS VIDEO. Your daddy caught it right on time!! We couldn't stop laughing you were playing by yourself and it was pretty funny. We love our mornings when I put you in bed with us. Daddy loves it the most cuz he'll curl you into a little ball and put you right next to him;-)

Hollow weenie!!!!!

CAN YOU TELL SHE HATED HER COSTUME???? LOL

It was my sweet KIKI'S first Halloweenie ever!!! and we had a blast as parents taking her even though she's barely 3 and a half months old. I also had the hardest time finding a costume that wasn't Disney and was fit enough for her. I then started to think of what we call her: bubs, kiki, kiki poo, kiko-rette, gordo lobo, gordis, kimarie--short for kiara marie, bubsicle, swheetie, and daddies fave..stinko head!!!. Out of all those little nicknames stinko-head stuck out the most and was perfect for this costume I found. Josh loved that I thought about him while picking out her costume, it was sweet!!

We enjoyed Halloween so much and love love loved the compliments we got on our babies costume and how no baby had that costume on....pheww!! (IT COULD HAVE RUINED HER IMAGE YA KNOW lol). But anyways I love our little girl and our tiny family. I think me and Josh had way more fun and sorry kiki we ate all your candy already!!

Well Kiki, its been so much fun watching you grow and we love you so so much. Me and your Daddy love going out and its impossible to have a moment alone or have a conversation at restaurants without having someone come up to us and try to touch you or that awesome bad ace HAIR OF YOURS!!! and your chubs. Never in my life have I ever been approached like that by so many people in one day. Its always all about you and I love it...and i'm just so proud to be your mommy and to always brag about you and hold you and hear that sweet girly voice of yours. Its so high pitched and so diva like that you demand to be heard by everyone hahaha. No one can get enough of you you little turd. We love you and keep growing my sweet butter ball!!!!!

DID ya VOTE??!!!

"Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for a President. One hopes it is the same half." -Gore Vidal

Hope you all went out and voted yesterday!!!

My 3 and a half month stinkohead!!!

KIKI POO

You are close to reaching your sweet 4 months and I have been so busy taking care of you and loving you that Its been hard to get on here and blog.It's still hard to believe sometimes. I can't believe I'm a mom. You're my daughter, and we're going to be in each other's lives forever.
I know you're your daddy's daughter too but sometimes I secretly feel like you're all mine. He's just along for the ride but you and me... We've got a special thing going lol, and I think that i'm just being greedy though haha cuz he loves you as much as I do.
I hope to be a good mother to you forever, because i'm not perfect at all but one thing you'll never have to worry about is the unconditional love I have for you my kiki.

Love,
Mommy

BESTIES BIRFDAY!!!

JUSTINA MY LOVE

Its been the best knowing you for almost 7 years now and being best friends for that long was so much fun!! Of course we had our moments, but thats only cuz some people tried to break that friendship me and you had. Too bad no ones been able to do so. I love us and how me and you are totally very different people yet at the same time so alike in many ways. You've shown me to let loose and get crazy sometimes. I can be uptight at times and a little too conservative haha. I love your energy and how sweet and caring you've been towards me these whole years. Not once did you miss my birthday and you've always been there for me and I thank you for that. Your a doll!! I loved how much we used to pig out and all we would talk about was food whenever we'd hang out. Right before the soccer games was the worst hahaha, I always felt like my insides would come out as soon as I was out kicking butt on the field. I'll always remember being such philosophers and always trying to figure out why we were here and what we were going to be when we grew up hahaha. I'am now a happily stay at home mommy and your now a nursing student so I guess we knew what we wanted, but always thought we'd never figure it out!!.

I love hanging out with you and my baby!! Like last night when you wanted to hold kiki and stroll her along..that was adorable. Your definitely her auntie and she's going to love you when she gets older. I also know that your just going to be an amazing mommy too girly!!! I love you tons woman and know that i'll always be there for you too no matter how old I get and even though I'm still married, we'll always have our ice cream pit stops and shopping for shoes or handbag days haha. Love you girl !!

My other bestest friend ever and only sis Marlene!!! I love her to pieces!!!

VENICE, NOT THE ITALY ONE

California we can never get enough of you!!! lol. We enjoyed Venice Beach so here's just some of the pictures along with our kiki even though she didn't go with us, she was able to enjoy Grandma Sheila and Joe time;-) It was a blast spending time alone with my husband and getting away from the good ol hott summer AZ. I would love to hit up SEATTLE NEXT TIME, that would be alot of fun;-)

for those who know who SPACE INVADER IS!!

me and my pimp daddy

Venice freaks in the house

Our beloved bishop/grandpa Benson...oh how we adore him!!!!!

Daddy getting a kick out of kiki's crying

Gotta love road trips

ANNIVERSARY CHANGE OF PLANS!!

SO YA DIDN'T DO THE DISNEYLAND TRIP THAT I WANTED BUT WE STILL STAYED AT THE HILTON HOTEL FOR TWO NIGHTS AND WENT OUT TO VENICE BEACH AND HAD A BLAST!!!!! I THINK A BETTER TIME THAN WHAT I WOULD HAVE HAD AT DISNEYLAND HAHAHA. I'M CURRENTLY IN PALM DESERT WITH THE IN-LAWS RIGHT NOW AND ENJOYING THE REST OF MY VACATION SINCE WE JUST GOT BACK FROM OUR ANNIVERSARY LITTLE GETAWAY. BUT I DEFINITELY ENJOYED MY TWO NIGHTS OF SLEEPING THROUGH AND NOT HAVING TO CHANGE DIAPERS, FEED OR GET BABY SPIT-UP ALL OVER ME LOL. EVEN THOUGH I WAS ALSO CLOSE TO CANCELLING MY TRIP BECAUSE OF THE HORRIBLE SEPARATION ANXIETY THAT MOTHERS GET WHEN THEY HAVE TO LEAVE THERE BABIES....YA IT WAS PRETTY HORRIBLE!!! BUT MY MOTHER IN LAW HELPED ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT IT AND SO WE WENT AND DEFINITELY DON'T REGRET HAVING TO GET AWAY FOR A LITTLE. I'LL POST THE PICTURES FROM OUR CALI TRIP WHEN I GET BACK TO ARIZONA. BUT HERE'S THESE TWO PICTURES THAT I LOVE CUZ IT WAS ME AND MY HUSBANDS FIRST YEAR ANNIVERSARY WITH OUR LITTLE KIKI. ON THE DAY OF OUR ANNI. WE WENT TO THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY CUZ I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND MY HUSBAND GOT HIS IPHONE4 AS PART OF HIS ANNI. GIFT SO HE WAS TOO EXCITED THAT WE EVEN FORGOT TO TAKE PICTURES TOGETHER AND HE JUST KEPT TAKING PICTURES OF US AND THESE TWO PICTURES CAME OUT AWESOME..ESPECIALLY CUZ MY HAIR WAS DOING SO FABULOUS THAT NIGHT TOO TEHEHE!!!!

LOVELY Times!!

Now that we have a baby we have improvised our date nights and now spend them at home. Thank you baby jesus for my sweet husband;-) He spent hours at the store looking for the best beef tenderloin two nights ago along with scallops for our appetizer. This bottom picture was from two weeks ago, we both went out to AJ's Fine Foods and picked up NY Strip Steaks along with red potatoes and some Asparagus. Husband made it all and the food was to die for. He made the Hollandaise sauce if thats how you spell it lol and I've never tried it before til now and oh man soo delicious.!!!

Its been hard for me to cook meals lately now that my whole life mainly revolves around my sweet baby cakes Kiara (kiki). I honestly don't know what I would do without my Joshua if he wasn't around to help;-) It would be so tough being a single mommy seriously, but any who having a baby has brought us even closer as a couple, when i thought it would actually be the other way around. Its been awesome!!!! Date nights at home but we also give ourselves time alone when we need it and at times we take our little bubs with us. like the Other day we went out to RA and then these bottom pictures here were from us heading to Pita Jungle and Mommy did a little jewelry shopping. It was weird shopping for me, since now all I think about is Kiara's wardrobe and diapers. But it was fun having a little muah shopping time. I'm also working towards getting my gym membership in a few weeks after I get my DOCS approval. So far I've lost 30 pounds of prego weight without working out and I still got 15 more to go boo hoo;-( I feel a bit chubs hahaha not going to lie but at least some of my fat jeans fit and don't have to deal with maternal pants still lol. Hopefully I lose them and maybe some more too, although it has been fun having those extra pounds cuz I been eating all the junk food and indulging in whatever my palate craves. My main focus here is my daughter and my family....I guess the gym and my size 6 jeans can wait in the closet... Tata now I'm going to eat some Sonic that sounds about good now!!!!

NY strip

Kiki could care less about jewelry lol

On our way to Pita Jungle...can you tell we are starving???

On Parenting

"It's a lovely magic trick of the memory, this gilding of hard times. Perhaps it's just the necessary alchemy we need to keep the species going. But for parents, this sleight of the mind and spell on the heart is the very definition of enchantment." --Jennifer Senior

I became a little consumed with this article about parenting in NY Mag. (The title alone got me a bit riled up and depressed about the direction humanity is headed, in general.) Although it seemed a little late to make the point, the last page---and especially the last two paragraphs---opened a kind of beautiful discourse. Despite sleepless nights and nap-less days (and maybe because of them), I know just how it feels to become so "enchanted" with a little one, and I am proud to say that having a child has made me a less self-centric, less self-centered person. ;-)

OUCH MY HEART HURTS!!!

HAD A WONDERFUL DATE NIGHT WITH MY HUSBAND LAST NIGHT....OUR FIRST IN A MONTH NOW SINCE OUR LITTLE BUBS WAS BORN. WE DID FIND OURSELVES CONSTANTLY TALKING ABOUT HER AND THE LITTLE FACES AND GRUNTS SHE MAKES. OH HOW WE LOVE THAT LITTLE GIRL;-0

LIFE HAS CHANGED A GREAT DEAL FOR US TWO BUT OH HOW I LOVE MY LIFE!!! I LOVE ALL OUR IMPERFECTIONS AND I WOULD NEVER CHANGE IT FOR NOTHING. ME AND MY HUSBAND ARE HEADING FOR OUR 1ST YEAR ANNIVERSARY ON SEPTEMBER 12TH!! ITS AMAZING HOW QUICKLY TIMES FLY'S BY. I REMEMBER THAT DAY LIKE NO OTHER. THEN WE PLANNED FOR OUR BABY THE BEGINNING OF LAST OCTOBER, FOUND OUT I WAS LIKE THREE WEEKS IN NOVEMBER, OUR BABY WAS BORN JULY 17TH AND NOW SHE'S A LITTLE OVER A MONTH OLD NOW;-(. ITS ALL SO BITTERSWEET TO ME and I LOVE MY LITTLE FAMILY AND EVERYTHING WE'VE DONE TO BUILD IT UP AND CREATE AN ATMOSPHERE FULL OF LOVE AND LAUGHTER AND AMAZING HEARTACHES...YA THE KIND WHERE YOUR SO IN LOVE AND SO HAPPY YOUR HEART HURTS AND FEELS LIKE IT WILL BURST ANY MOMENT NOW. I FEEL THAT WAY RIGHT NOW!!! I COULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT ANY OTHER WAY. AMEN TO MY LITTLE BENSON MERAZ FAMILY;-)

Courtney and Juan

COURTNEY AND JUAN:

Congratulations on your beautiful wedding...i loved everything about it. I had an amazing time with everyone and seeing all my old friends. It was a blast!!!!! the only thing missing was my husband haha, but he was out of town working ;-( but I brought my little baby so it wasn't so bad. I can't believe everyone is married now and with kids. Oh how we've all grown up. Me, Joe, Juan, Marlene all married and life has changed for each and everyone of us. Now lets push Justina to it hahaha jk Jay!!!! we love you. Its been amazing that we're all still best friends and still keep in touch, thank you all for the hilarious and rebellious moments that we've all had together. You guys were so much fun, and now that we're all jaded married couples hahaha jk, we're still able to get together from time to time and reminisce about the old days. Congrats once again and we love you guys!!!!

Best friends since highschool, Just missing CHEN CHEN!!!

Best Friend Joe and me

Kimmie and Me!!

My little date kiki and Me;-)

Me and the Bestie!!